vanta greige

Madeline Miller you have the perfect yearning gap between seasons of Heated Rivalry to release another reimagined Greek banger, get to work girl

if i was an asshole to you and you didn't talk to your therapist about it it's over between us

wherever the Olympics are supposed to be this year they should just move the whole shebang to Canada right now

tired: excited about tomorrow's morning coffee at bedtime

wired: desperate for that evening's lil glass of sherry at 6am

for better or worse at some point we're going to need to discuss Connor Storrie's likeness to Celia Imrie

i think it would feel so weird to look a stranger in the eye and tell them your baby's name is Richard

it is so unbelievable to me that we only get two sets of teeth for our entire lives and the second ones come in before we hit puberty?? do you know how many things I'm going to eat after that??

there is a self-flushing toilet at work that has been beeping intermittently for 3 years

being a dad who is tired has prompted me to reflect on how much my parents made me feel like a problem and how i don't want to do that

this was such a good idea. I'm just pelting my MAGA parents with truth. they don't know how to mute, I'm the only account penetrating their algorithm, they would never unfollow me, and i don't have to worry about flooding like-minded friends with content they've already seen while i get zoomies out.

and by "leftist content" i just mean reality

it just occurred to me that if i want to passive aggressively inundate my MAGA dad with leftist content without annoying my other followers all i have to do is create a "close friends" group of only him and go ham

kind of darkly funny that "gender studies" is the stereotypical "useless degree" because gender studies will help you understand a large and important chunk of the current psychosis in american life

looks like my password was just "compromised" and now i have to stick my hand in a Gom Jabbar box to get back into my email

i love how websites are like "☑️ Click here to get exclusive updates and deals!" as if they're not going to subscribe you anyway.

i got locked out of all my work accounts and ngl i kinda hoped i was fired

i was in a Costco in San Diego for an hour and was able to cast every actor for season 2 of Heated Rivalry

in 2026 i predict microphones will get so tiny influencers will have to hold them with tweezers

we used to just pick one of the 4 channels or MTV to watch NYE Entertainments but for the last 10 years we just try like 7 different apps to access something interesting and give up by 830pm PST

🫡 thank you for your service 🫎

you're telling me a Canadian gayed this hockey

i want to race Ilya in the pool and lose

i think the way my mom sees it I'm cheating on my high school girlfriend with my husband

anyway, ring a ling a ling ding dong ding

absolutely and also My Man My Moon

gay programming can resuscitate the shit out of a decades-old pop hit

all i can think about is hockey and i have yet to watch a single game

Shane broke his macrobiotic diet for his man's cheese and bread he'll do anything that Russian says it's diabolical

the mise en place Ilya pulled out of that refrigerator for the "i was already going to make one, i can just make two" tuna melt was basically a marriage proposal

if that Russian man asked me to stay the night with him like that i would instantly conceive a child