Jason Kirk

Seize the means of more candy

solidarity with all the children out there throwing tantrums. stay strong. you WILL get what you want

Cooked us

Still amazing how often the Google AI thing that now pops up as The Most Definitive Answer to millions of questions is based on literally just one Reddit commenter

If you're at the airport and Kristi Noem is doing the ominous little message from the TSA screens, you no longer have to do anything she says. Leave your laptop in the case, whatever.

I’m reading a “Hell is a World Without You” rn about growing up in that during the early 2000s and it’s wild what they put y’all thru

In this case, I'm making a small joke about a plural noun and a feminine noun. Though there are plenty of other Hebrew Bible references describing God as feminine

In Hebrew, God is a they and a she within just the first two verses of Genesis 1. This is just reading the document

Justin Fields please go play baseball brother. You've endured too much already

Like all right-thinking people I do not listen to this podcast. Unless the Transfer Wizard is there

Ever read a sentence that feels like you're having a stroke

College sports’ best current DI dynasties, plus Rueben Bain’s short arms Until Saturday is The Athletic's free college football newsletter.

Writing a newsletter with these words in it is a great way to get a lot of people to email you about Kenyon College swimming and Middlebury field hockey. In case you ever need that to happen

Interesting. Fencing definitely felt like the lowest information of all D1 sports

We played a CFB 26 game so legendary, a former NFL and current FBS head coach is talking about it

I wasn't offended until the last part

The entire history of the Rapture Scroll to the end to become ready

The Rapture is in the news again, I see. Get caught up. (Caught up. Rapture term.)

Ubben has long been committed to always doing offense

Thanks coach

Just conserving clock

lol just now heard Pollack saying "kick the extra point, and let's go to overtime." That's what you think coward

Don't mind if I do

That makes one of us, Coach

I dropped “gg” in chat. The series of events that led to me winning after that could’ve only possibly happened in College Station, Texas

This little maneuver’s gonna cost us 51 years

When you accidentally enter Ultimate Team instead of Dynasty Mode

Just guessed, looked it up, and confirmed you were right

Emma would be appalled

There's the Hillsong Elf White Hair thing, but that's a whole other degree. Within feasibly realistic realms of caucasity this is at far as it goes

These guys have made F-14 Tomcat waifu art. There's no way they're siding with America over that

They all look like buttholes to some degree