if it’s 3 seconds long and in portrait mode well then sign me up
07.03.2026 05:58
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if it’s 3 seconds long and in portrait mode well then sign me up
hate to be that guy but can I get one
mf said ingested in sports
is your wife kristi noem
I knew you would be
classic mid-90's toy, "Bop It"
nice it you got there. it would be a shame if someone were to
Canadian singer-songwriter The Weeknd, but short
who’s ready for the short weeknd?
🎶 what the world
needs now
is big
boat stuck
eggs are spicy enough as it is imo
doctor: it’s a boy!
mom: what should we name him
dad (visibly drunk): MARKWAYNE
March 8 on the calendar where it is printed: "International Women's Day" and "daylight saving time begins (clocks forward)
Thank you for having International Women's Day on the shortest day of the year
after 7 shots of tequila and countless modelos I am now being told that cinco de marzo is not a thing?
thank you for the invite but I am unable to respond to this post
If you're at the airport and Kristi Noem is doing the ominous little message from the TSA screens, you no longer have to do anything she says. Leave your laptop in the case, whatever.
I have the first set. DM me
PSA: The Bluesky Early Access Program will end at midnight PST. All accounts created with invite codes will be permanently deleted. Thank you for your participation.
when someone’s net worth reaches a billion dollars it should roll over to zero like the scores in old video games
Myself & the other comedians who did the Riyadh Comedy Festival are donating our fees to help get influencers under attack in Dubai back home to their influencer houses. I am sponsoring Braevyn McTaigg from Orlando, FL. 🫡🇺🇸🏝️
I have a PhD in forklift operation so let me know if you need a referral. of course I have never driven a forklift as my work was theoretical
that’s my wife
dang it I had $500 on “Billy becomes disillusioned” for next tuesday
room halfway filled with brown liquid
not to brag but I’m halfway done filling my basement with gasoline
they made him go out there while the other astronauts got to hang out in the command module and play mario kart
100% agree. btw we call them women over here mate
shit. shit!!
can’t believe it took Leonardo da Vinci over 14 years to paint the Mona Lisa. I just did it in 12 seconds using AI
What's FIFA