is it okay to face fuck a pb&j during a funeral if you’re about to pass out because you haven’t eaten your hourly pb&j and now you’re getting the pb&j withdrawal sweats
07.03.2026 03:47
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people will be trying to get those stains out for the rest of their lives
07.03.2026 04:02
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if you don’t learn from billy joel’s ‘we didn’t start the fire,’ you’re doomed to repeat billy joel’s ‘we didn’t start the fire’
07.03.2026 01:48
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(twentieth pilot enters cockpit) ok certainly that's the last one
02.03.2026 22:52
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If my period were a store it would be Bloodbath & Beyond
07.03.2026 01:30
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sex megastore called Ass Pro Shop
06.03.2026 22:33
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it’s a good thing too because I did not want to apologize for that incident on wednesday
07.03.2026 03:55
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oh ok
07.03.2026 03:52
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🥵
07.03.2026 03:49
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is it okay to face fuck a pb&j during a funeral if you’re about to pass out because you haven’t eaten your hourly pb&j and now you’re getting the pb&j withdrawal sweats
07.03.2026 03:47
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behold in the time it takes you to eat a burrito I shall eat TWO burritos
07.03.2026 01:28
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Garfield is my favorite Sith Lord
07.03.2026 01:16
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Gaius Baltar is my favorite sith lord.
07.03.2026 01:01
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the pizza delivery guy with the ten inch schlong is my favorite sith lord
07.03.2026 00:55
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Lord Grantham is my favorite sith lord
07.03.2026 00:54
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The Flying Nun is my favorite Sith Lord.
07.03.2026 00:54
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ming the merciless is my favorite sith lord
07.03.2026 00:52
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Gilligan is my favorite Sith Lord
07.03.2026 00:49
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the doctor is my favorite sith lord
07.03.2026 00:48
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Jean-Luc Picard is my favorite Sith Lord
07.03.2026 00:32
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A vitamin I took got kinda stuck halfway down. So that's where my entire focus will be for the next 17 to 33 mins.
06.03.2026 11:58
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i’m fine, yeah, it’s all good, no i don’t need any help, yeah, just fucked up my entire life irrevocably but it’s cool, i got it handled, thanks
07.03.2026 00:35
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screenshot of drafts that are one word each and reads never gonna give you up never gonna let you down
idk my drafts might be a one hit wonder
06.03.2026 20:27
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Vodka tonic in one hand, shitposting with the other, and lounging in luxury tonight
07.03.2026 00:36
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the moby dick guy should have set more realistic goals for himself.
06.03.2026 16:54
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it says “eat me”
your instructions are clear
07.03.2026 00:33
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Okay if fucking Trump outlasts Bruce Campbell I'm fighting god barefoot in a Waffle House parking lot.
03.03.2026 01:25
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Man I bet that machine eats pussy so good
07.03.2026 00:34
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I don’t see how I couldn’t
07.03.2026 00:33
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