The Pandalorian (they/she)

This, plus "dysregulation"

I have been in therapy for 10+ years for CPTSD, noticing heightened activation, processing trauma, and building skills.

Lately, she asks if my nervous system activation is truly inappropriate to the situation or if it is warranted.

Not all dysregulation is pathological.

My hottest mental health take:

A lot of depression and anxiety is situational, and warranted, because people live in shit circumstances. They’re poor, without resources, etc. and the reason it’s become popular to blame “mental health” is because it’s a way of evading responsibility.

I'm out of words here

this is a complaint about my brain, not about the app, to be perfectly clear.

With the autism, the CPTSD, and that gifted kid experience where performance is tied to self worth bc that's when we got positive caregiver attention... I am primed for "mistakes" to rock my nervous system and I hate it.

A screenshot of a vocab practice exercise in Lingvano, an app for learning Sign Languages. The entered answer NO WORRIES is marked incorrect and the correct answer, NO PROBLEM, is displayed below the video of the man who was signing.

I use Lingvano to keep up my ASL skills and I love it, don't get me wrong, but sometimes my translation is correct in concept but not what they want and it deeply frustrates the overachieving perfectionist in me to get docked points even if there are no consequences. Former gifted kid vibes.

Having some of the most thoroughly redacted thoughts of my life.

Talking to my friend: "I have a system for labs since walkins take forever and everyone wants appts after work during the week. 8am Saturday appts. I barely sit down before my name is called."

so turns out most people don't get bloodwork done enough to have a system.

just chronic illness things.

As a millenial teacher, I approve this message.

These babies CRY ALL DAY when we do a time change. And I want to but I have to be the adult.

Don't get me started on the car accidents, strokes, and heart attacks, or how it started to conserve energy during WWI.

I could write a damn thesis.

4 shots of espresso and 2 iced coffees and I immediately took a 3 hour nap lmao

(recovering) overachiever core

in session zero of this Pathfinder campaign like "uggghhh I don't know I just have a vibe I want, maybe a rogue?"

*a few days later*

"Hey DM, I have a design and a 3 page backstory with citations, inspo pictures, and a sidequest hook, and I know I am a week early but it's in your inbox."

me 🤝 Proton's comms person

explaining that you cannot simply decide a court order doesn't apply to you just because you don't like it

Caitlin KALINOWSKI over X I resigned from OpenAl. I care deeply about the Robotics team and the work we built together. This wasn't an easy call. Al has an important role in national security. But surveillance of Americans without judicial oversight and lethal autonomy without human authorization are lines that deserved more deliberation than they got. This was about principle, not people. I have deep respect for Sam and the team, and I'm proud of what we built together.

OpenAI head of robotics just resigned over company deal with the Pentagon saying…

“Surveillance of Americans without judicial oversight and lethal autonomy without human authorization are lines that deserved more deliberation than they got”

I have the "sleepy after 4 shots of espresso and 2 iced coffees" genes so that doesn't touch my heart rate but I also have POTS so standing up does?

bodies are weird.

these kids were like "obviously they aren't friends, and even if they were, friends don't love each other, so she is clearly confessing that she has fallen in love with our teacher".

we had a whole conversation about how we are friends, I love my friends, and also teachers love their students 🤣🤣🤣

Kinder teacher: I swapped the marbles so each marble run kit has all the same color.

(kids were fighting about which color they wanted before)

Me: I love you.

Kinder 1: why would you say that to her??

Kinder 2: That's crazy.

I am a fucking teacher.
I teach elementary school.
MY GOVERNMENT bombed LITTLE GIRLS GOING TO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. they weren't dead this morning and now they are. call it what it is: a fucking terrorist attack.

I am not okay and you shouldn't be either.

“The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.”

James Baldwin

“direct your anger at trump not the democrats” buddy you are severely underestimating the amount of anger i have available to me

good guys don't bomb civilians.
good guys don't bomb children.
good guys don't bomb schools.
good guys don't bomb hospitals.
good guys don't bomb 100 little girls going to school on a quiet morning to start a war during negotiations while doing multiple other genocides and say it was inevitable.

the news is too much for me today and I tend to stay pretty well informed.

I just need something to make me believe good will prevail.

instead people are yelling "that's illegal" and acting like everyone's hands are tied in the face of the kind of evil that tortures, r*pes, and murders children

Here is what we mean by illegal war vs legal war

The distinction between legal war (jus ad bellum) and illegal or aggressive war comes from international law, not US law. Jus ad bellum refers to the legal criteria under international law that determine when a state may lawfully use force.

I'm gonna go with Iranian schoolgirls not being my enemy or people who pose any particular threat to me who got killed for no reason.

Today’s military strikes on Iran — carried out by the United States and Israel — mark a catastrophic escalation in an illegal war of aggression. Bombing cities. Killing civilians. Opening a new theater of war.

people ask why I am a teacher if I have chronic illnesses like I chose this knowingly.

no, I was 6 years of higher ed deep and in a ton of student debt when the pandemic hit, and 2-3 years after THAT is when I figured out what was wrong with me.

I love teaching but my immune system does not.

had influenza A this week and I haven't been that sick in a hot minute. day 5 and the fever is gone but I am still only about 10% here and feel like my head is floating.

mask and wash your hands please! you don't want to get this or pass it to someone else.

on the 100th day of school yesterday I dressed up as an old man and told the Kindergarteners I was a substitute named Papaw. Full wig, eyebrows, mustache, glasses, cane... fooled them all, even some of the staff.

realized that may have been my first time in drag, and how incredibly on brand 🤣

Why are you spreading it when you know its just more “Fuck all Black and Indigenous and queer and especially ’those poors’” bullshit we see EVERY DAMN DAY ANYWAY?

Nobody likes you for doing that? Increasing the doomscrolling is not a friend net positive! At this point you’re just wanting to be seen

Stop reposting shit from Twitter from Rando McKaren Noname ad/or Senator Plantation McOverseer that you know is incendiary and going “look at this shit”. Im starting to detest ppl who do this shit for show and clicks as much as I detest that site

it's giving "you changed the recipe of my safe food"