[first speakeasy owner]
I guess I shoulda told someone about it.
07.03.2026 04:49
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[first speakeasy owner]
I guess I shoulda told someone about it.
I'm going to a techno show tomorrow night and won't get home until like 3:00 am. I was thinking about how I'm going to stay awake and realized that I stayed up all night shitting before my colonoscopy. This will be way more fun than that.
When the opportunity arose to look at nudes, I can confidently say “I did.”
I shouted "Hey, Sheet-stainer!" in a crowded auditorium and you were the only one that turned around
I’ve seen more people sans trou than a kid could ever dream.
When I finally shed this mortal coil, I’ll look back most fondly on but one thing: all the nudes.
Picture of Marilyn Monroe she looks like a human being with blonde hair and lipstick and a shirt
“did you know! marilyn monroe got a rib removed so she could suck her own dick!!!”
I used to have zero Ankaragücü soccer jerseys. Now? Now I have two. I envy no man.
I'm doing some fake ads for a branding presentation for a pool company, and just thought it would be funny to make a well-designed ad about not swimming in their pool if you've had diarrhea in the last two weeks.
Markwayne Mullin should have to begin every interview by spelling his name, just so folks never lose sight of it. “Yes, one word.”
Un-fucking-believable
Markdashwayne
He's trash!
We need a green new deal
I'm going to a techno show tomorrow night and won't get home until like 3:00 am. I was thinking about how I'm going to stay awake and realized that I stayed up all night shitting before my colonoscopy. This will be way more fun than that.
Right? Lemonjello also comes to mind. Before folks thought classrooms had litter boxes.
Racists have been talking about a mythical "L-a (La-dash-a)" student for decades and then they produce "Markwayne."
Markwayne Mullin should have to begin every interview by spelling his name, just so folks never lose sight of it. “Yes, one word.”
Two words: Jared. Kushner.
The should be called the Miami Football Dolphins so people don’t think they’re seeing actual dolphins
fired ANOTHER plumber. like my problem is “hard water”???? ok bro that’s just ice like i’m not dumb
He has no handlers and nothing is manicured. It’s not a foodie tour. There’s just something very appealing about how ordinary it is, and the amazing things you can find in the most remote locales.
The nation of Georgia looks amazing
I stumbled upon an Insta account for a guy who is traveling solo from Milan to Tokyo without getting on a plane and he has no car. It’s bringing me immense joy.
we appear to have four competing fascist movements jockeying for control: blood & soil nazism under miller and hegseth, darwinian ecofascism from rfk, technofascism under vance and musk, and one Big Wet Hitler who understands the true animating core of the american volk is a deep love for shopping
Haaaa. It's more "boring" than "bad." But these things are all inherently bad. I would not be surprised if AI had a stab at it first and they just inserted actual band names.
Buying tickets only to see host Jason Biggs
You simply must
the FBI let Trump fuck an alien and he caught an intergalactic STI and that's why his body is decaying
