Xal 🦑 #1 Mind Flayer Supremacist 🦑

#tavqotd

Xal would either annihilate Bhaal or annihilate all the Giths.
He hates them all equally, and therefore would like to rid himself and all universes of their presence forever.
This is the greatest fix he desires.

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You know... I don't usually attach much importance to words, because they seem empty and flat to me, but I can't help noticing that of all the words you know, you chose the one that suits me least. Cute little Xal.
Funny. Ridiculous. Ahaha.
Go on.

Because of his fear of loneliness, he lives for the moment. He tries to enjoy every second of the life he has finally managed to build for himself.

He knows that in the end he will be alone again, but this time forever. And the worst thing for him is that he will not be able to end his loneliness, because suicide is completely pointless, as his soul is bound to the Far Realm and his Patron.

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Loneliness.
Xal is lonely by nature. Every time he gets close to someone, it ends tragically, and since Xal's life is suspiciously cyclical, he knows in advance how his next touching attachment will end.

Wavemother’s Robe
#BaldursGate3 #BG3 #mindflayer #illithid #theEmperor #iPadArt #fanart

Apart from that, he has hardly changed.
However, this is the second version of Xal (the canonical one).
The very first Xal was a Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer, had scales on his face, and looked strange overall.
I deleted him without finishing the first act.

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I don't think anything has changed dramatically since I created him... except for the face, lol. For a long time, I couldn't find a suitable face mod that I associated with him...
So he had to spend more than two years with a head that I liked aesthetically. ☠️

I don't want anything, just to sleep and not think about anything.
So, see you later. I hope I'll feel better soon.

I might leave here for a few days because I need a break from social media and everything else... because my anxiety has increased dramatically over the last few days and I feel like just lying down and dying every time my brain isn't hyper-focused on something that interests me.

after which he was able to focus his attention on the things and people that were truly important to him.
Now he has much more time for himself and feels much less anger and irritation. 😌

In Xal's eyes, he is the ideal leader of the criminal Empire, and it is an honour for Xal to be on his side.

Xal finally freed himself from his duties as leader of a group of total idiots and handed over this position to the Emperor,

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Xal agrees to be the leader only until he finds another leader he wants to follow. Although this had never happened before, and he either preferred to be a loner or was a forced leader.
But in the end, Xal met the Emperor and gladly followed him.

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Don't do that to me pls, or I'll write a doctoral thesis.
Xal deserves much much more than my meaningless writing.

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Not everyone will understand, indeed.😌

he loses his understanding of those feelings again.
It's not a struggle, because struggling is pointless. It's just discomfort from his lack of understanding of himself.

but now they are beyond his reach.
And when he tries to understand what exactly he should be feeling, he finds only emptiness inside himself.
He can only understand some feelings again through other people... but as soon as he breaks the mental connection with them,

It's like losing the very concept of left and right.
You remember the word and you remember using it once, but you no longer understand what it means.
Xal is experiencing something similar. He knows and remembers that in certain situations he used to experience a certain feeling,

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His feelings.
Even before his transformation into an Illithid, he didn't understand his feelings very well, and now that some feelings have become much more intense and he has completely lost access to others... it doesn't help him at all.

Codariocalyx motorius / Desmodium gyrans timelapse YouTube video by TrueDarkAn9el

But of course, I didn't stop there and finally bought some Desmodium seeds. It's an incredible plant, and I've wanted to get it for a long time. I've already mentioned that I love plants that can move their leaves, and Desmodium is the record holder among them.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3-L...

My new caudex friends. I really hope the seeds sprout, because these plants are very difficult to find.

So his new life was born on a pile of decaying corpses, amid the suffering of others, and fed on the milk of death itself. However, it had never been any different. Mother Death always followed him, and he welcomed her.

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You can't lose what you don't have...
Xal had nothing to lose except, perhaps, his pretty face. When he became an Illithid, he lost his humanoid body, but he wasn't too upset about it. As for the rest, destruction, death, and war with the Absolute became his gateway to a new, desired life.

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High-alcohol cherry wine. Xal loves this wine and can drink it even as an Illithid.
But in truth, I associate him with any strong alcoholic beverage. The more bitter and intense the taste, the stronger the association, cause Xal himself is intense, bitter, intoxicating.

But it's a very specific thing, and it's hard to find people who share my interest in it, so I entertain myself with such stories almost entirely on my own.

In general, my ideal story is a classic, light D&D adventure that slowly turns into Dark Souls, Bloodborne, etc, lol.
I mean the atmosphere. When everything starts out fun and exciting, but then it all turns into a terrible nightmare and despair.

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✔️Dark Fantasy. (My favorite genre, along with the even darker Grimdark)
+
✔️Grimdark elements
✔️Surrealism elements
✔️(Body)Horror elements
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I often include in my stories certain philosophical questions that torment me and to which I cannot find answers.

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A black heart, bleeding red blood, bound in silver and gold chains. Well, that's Xal's palette.
🟥⬛🔲🟨

He sees genders as advantageous roles for specific situations and therefore does not mind playing them if it brings him some benefit. This is a purely pragmatic view.

He hates restrictions, and social roles associated with gender are an unbearable restriction for him.
None of the pronouns can describe him as a person, and they definitely can't show his alien aberrant nature, so Xal doesn't care about pronouns. They're just there to make things easier, that's all.