John-Paul

A surprising number of people still think that F. Scott Fitgerald was the author’s name and not a chant created by his critics.

Torpedos are just pedophiles on the dark web.

#LunchPun

#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary LEGROOM: A Frenchman on his wedding day.

who called it horse shit when whinny the poo was right there

Couldn't we crowdfund to pay John Davidson a life-changing amount of money to follow Boris Johnson around for the rest of his life?

Most massively optimistic estimates:

Fry onions until soft and "caramelised"
Hot air clothes drier
Oven chip cooking times
Wife minutes until ready
Victory in a new Western Asian war

"You were bitten by a radio-active camera?" My last words as a TV studio manager.

#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary SNUFFBOX: A coffin.

The shop it's parked in front of is having some kind of orgasm.

"The competition in the charts in the early seventies was really intense."
"Amazing race!"
"The bagpipes thing? - Never liked it."

#LunchPun

Life's too bad for short coffee.

The worst thing about the responses to most of my posts was finding out tumbleweed isn’t even native to the UK.

Picture of a Guardian journalist and the strapline "Why people believe the ;Jim Carrey is a clone' theory from the Guardian website.

It's because they're thick, isn't it? Surely that's the answer...

I'm trying to explain what's wrong with my game to my golf coach, but he doesn't seem to understand. I can't think of how to put it differently.

#LunchPun

The laugh track was insisted on by the broadcaster and the people making it didn't like it (according to wikipedia), and, as far as I can tell, they just used it less with no one noticing and less and then stopped altogether.

It gets less annoying during series 1 and is gone in series 2.

I love this “lost” series. It’s brilliant.

recorded as something else.

Over time, they managed to acquire the better known name or just used it as a trademark or brand.

I suspect it’s one reason Victorian companies appear to have pretty dumb literal names. A lot of companies appear to have used the owners name or something location related, but were “officially”

I suspect that in a lot of cases they were always known as “better known name”, but couldn’t register the name because it was already in registered (after 1844 company names had a central register). So the company was given another name to be registered, using the real name as the trading style.

Great article!
If you ever get really bored, it’s worth looking at the early names of companies. Lots of historians (I think) get them wrong. There's so many references to “originally known as x, becoming “better known name” at a later date.

They were one of the greatest "nearly" bands of all time.

I still have the album and eps - with nothing to play them on - because for years it looked like they'd never come out digitally and I didn't want to lose access to them.

Photograph from the bbc news website of Victoria, David and (presumably) Brooklyn Beckham with the headline "David and Victoria Beckham wish Brooklyn happy birthday despite feud"

This is on my front page of the BBC news website.

The world's gone mad. This just isn't news. Perhaps I am old.

#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary


Symmetry - Where they bury dead South Africans.

Once you pop (your clogs), you still can't stop.

I've just seen a picture of Elvis smoking a cigar.

Castella?

No, Presley.

#Lunchpun

Youngest's school report seems very harsh. Limited reading comprehensions skills and terrible grammer. Which is unfair, she's not been the same since grandad died, but still.

#LunchPun

-"Hi, i'm new, can you direct me to the cafeteria?"

-"First day?"

-"Parched, I was rushing this morning and didn't get my morning coffee"

#Lunchpun

"You've got this" is much less motivating when it's your doctor pointing at his medical dictionary.

Wales online sounds way more interesting when you hear it said out loud, rather than written down.

See also

Dictionary - convent.

#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary