John Walton

😇

Ah yes, the old joke: “What is a lesbian’s favourite mochi flavour?”

“Mango.”

There is something just so simple and joyful about spending a couple of hours playing with trains and chatting with the lovely owner about trains (and being got properly hooked on model trains)…

…he is now a Kato models dealer, which is truly “first hit’s free, kids” business 🤣

Friends fear he is back in the train set cafe twenty minutes west of Kyoto…

(He is. Friends are right.)

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Oh no, reminds me of the surprise Japanese Coke Light that’s half fibre and has Effects.

A mossy garden with steps and traditional temple buildings

Pink camellia flowers litter a small path winding its way around a mossy garden

Looking the other way down the pink camellia littered path to a traditional temple building

A small path with rectangular paving stones and bamboo fences

Tiny Enri-an, reached down a little path, is a slice of mossy heaven in Arashiyama.

Love the fallen camellia path, and am putting this on my list to come back to in autumn.

#JohnDoesJapan

A light pink ume tree in full flower

idk about u guise but i luv ume season

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Shoji doors and a wooden screen with painted ume tree motif.

So much peace and quiet even five minutes away from the tourist trail of Arashiyama. This is Seiryo-ji, and this screen is perfect for ume season.

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I think it’s both window of opportunity and that getting off the tourist path is still totally possible for a lovely Kyoto experience.

A box saying please wear slippers. There are slippers inside. Next to is a box for big size slippers, marked for 28 to 30 cm.

This temple is also thoughtful enough to have GAIJIN SMASH size slippers, which as someone with GAIJIN SMASH size feet, I very much appreciate.

Normally I either skip the slippers or end up mincing around like the daintiest of Gilbert & Sullivan little maids, which is Not A Look.

#JohnDoesJapan

“Cartoon gooner justice.”

Apropos of “here’s my ICQ” this week, I (and I think you too?) were both there when the deep magic was written enough that “never tempt the wrath of the furries who run the internet” is one of my core tenets for The Discourse.

Is Kyoto station crammed with people? Sure! Are there a zillion places selling chemical-green matcha soft serve? Yep!

Can you have plum gardens all to yourself by taking a nice walk or quick cab ride away from the tourist hotspots? One hundred percent.

#JohnDoesJapan

Next door at Osawa-no-ike pond, I have this gorgeous bamboo grove all to myself, now that the Japanese couple having wedding photos taken have headed over to the ume garden.

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Daikaju-ji itself — a long-ago imperial residence — is stunning, with incredible architecture and screens, as well as beautiful small gardens between the buildings.

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So I wanted to come out to Arashiyama — one of Kyoto’s “tourist trap” areas on a spring Saturday at the end of ume season to see how busy it is.

There are more monks cleaning Daikaku-ji (a 20 minute walk from Saga-Arashiyama JR station, or 5 minute taxi) than there are visitors.

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You’d have thought it would have been a

Golden opportunity

All this reminds me of one of the reasons I chose #JohnDoesJapan as my perennial hashtag for my visits.

I like to share the bits of Japan that *I* love, in case you want to do your Japan trip in the way I do it, even in part.

Like this part of Kitano-Tenman-gu, say.

But clearly, the many people enjoying the dangly sparkles enjoy it, and that's totally valid!

I don't want to yuck their yum, or be king weeb about a place I am very lucky and appreciative to visit regularly!

And hey, the installation made me think, even if that thought was "…no."

A small cluster of perfectly beautiful pale pink delicate ume flowers.

Just…the ume are gorgeous and fleeting enough.

I don’t need a million reflective crystals dangling from the trees when I have these to admire.

#JohnDoesJapan

A whole lot of artificial flowers arranged inside a small traditional Japanese pavilion.

Same thing, different angle

And again, a different angle on the same thing

I didn’t hate the whole festival! I actually quite liked the fake flowers in the tea room, in a Bridgerton aesthetic kind of way!

Many different types of fake plastic sparkly gems in various shades and shapes hung from ume branches with fishing line.

More of it, but different.

Yet more, different again

My camera’s inability/unwillingness to focus on all the bits of gaudy bling fishinglined to the poor ume trees is very reflective of my own feeling about this entire exhibition.

I just… you don’t need to TeamLab an actual garden!

The camera very much does not capture the sheer amount of obnoxious sparkling reflectivity in the sun — at least double it, because you get two eyes’ worth rather than one lens’ worth.

It feels like a Hollywood red carpet amount of flashing, in what is otherwise gloriously serene natural beauty.

It’s also home to the Kyoto Nippon Festival, in which artists every year do things in the garden.

This year, the thing is “strew sparkly nonsense over the trees like you blew up a Claire’s Accessories”.

Also there is a man shouting to a rapt audience while his performing monkey does tricks.

A large garden of pink and white ume trees with a traditional Japanese building behind

Oh Japan. I love you so much, but sometimes…

This is Kitano Tenman-gu, home to one of Kyoto’s most incredible spring sights, Bai-en: the ume (sour plum/apricot) garden.

It’s a sea of pink and white, with the most glorious honey scent.

Top tip: immediately flatten it under a heavy book or elderly laptop — those bloody things curl like it's an Olympic sport. I had to take to keeping mine in a hard-sided passport holder as well, secured with a hair elastic. Genuinely the shittest production quality of passports I can remember.

Wealthy Dubai residents race back to UAE to avoid tax bills Some risk spending too few days in the emirate and too many in the UK

Tax exiles stuck in London desperately trying to get *back* to Dubai to avoid becoming tax resident in the UK? Just great stuff. giftarticle.ft.com/giftarticle/...

Airports Overwhelmed By Dubai Influencers Filming ‘Emotional Return Home’ Videos AIRPORT arrival halls across the world are experiencing major delays due to a surge in influencers returning home from Dubai. Clogging up terminals with cameras, lighting rigs and ring lights, travellers have been warned to add …

Airports Overwhelmed By Dubai Influencers Filming 'Emotional Return Home' Videos https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2026/03/05/airports-overwhelmed-by-dubai-influencers-filming-emotional-return-home-videos/

Fallen ume petals on mossy ground

I cannot tell you how much I want to be a tiny woodland creature alternately napping and frolicking on this with my tiny woodland creature friends.

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Red camellia blooms have fallen on green moss. Behind, pink ume blooms have fallen in a carpet effect.

I come back to: how is this real?

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I’m still jetlagged enough that it feels like Jonan-gu yesterday evening was some sort of hazy dream.

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