Sir Oswald Rigby

forward but I refuse to spring.

Frog time A green frog is sitting on someone's watch on their arm

human time is irrelevant, for all time is now

If you’re in Winslow, Arizona, u should keep going

All Fiction and no Pulp

applebottom jeans sure, but boots with the fur feels excessive

I’m writing a book and you’re in it, please respond

Friday episode of "Why the fuck am I awake?!?"

am I that easy to read

And so, in summary, fuck everything

Holy war. Pretty on brand for a Tuesday in 2026.

can’t. I’m watching the season finale of our moral decay

Smart choice. Go Tuesday mornings, avoid the line

need a “we are the world” musical collab to help us grieve the embarrassment of our union

Let me tell you how bad it’s getting.

*breaks out the whiteboard*

Going to sleep. NOBODY TOUCH THE RED BUTTON.

Can't, redecorating my crying cave

hope i never get regime changed

your email finds me on a dark desert highway

Sinéad O’Connor would hate this

do u fall like a dead person into bed randomly like a sociopath or do you have a highly specific phase one position + air flow to temperature ratio + number of pillow fluffs + nightly regimen to follow religiously like a normal person in order to barely sleep each night

10/10 for the bread alone, everything else is bonus

always a bridesmaid, never a skirkle bro

I'm a husk.

But not a hollow husk.

I'm like a tamale.

I wish I had a tamale.

every time I accidentally save a draft an angel gets his wings ripped off

Maybe udon would fix me

In that awkward period, between birth and death.

Great. Here comes the mushroom cloud.

No! Red button bad

Going to sleep. NOBODY TOUCH THE RED BUTTON.